Siri, Better Slow Her Roll

Unlike many of you rich bishes out there, I do not own a iPhone.

Blasphemy, right? 

Go ahead, banish me if you will for my ghetto Droid and my obvious lower economic standing. 

Let's call a spade a spade. 

But what I lack in a classy cell phone, the rest of my family makes up for. 

Both my sisters, brother, and even Dad own iPhones and the only one that is still down with a B is my mom, who rocks a Straight Talk. I don't know if I should count her though since she's old school and doesn't even text.

Anywho. 

The point of this is, sure...I don't have an iPhone but my fam does and when I get the chance, I get my grubby little hands on it. Hence last night when I got to play with my sister's and we had a little bit of fun with Siri...

Oh, don't act like you didn't ask and tell Siri inappropriate things. 

Yes, we turned into 13 year old boys and asked anything and everything we thought Siri could answer.

For example: 

Us: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Siri: That all depends is if your talking about the African or European woodchuck

...we then asked again...

Siri: 42? That doesn't seem like enough.

Us: Talk dirty to me.

Siri: The carpet needs to be vacuumed

Us: I hate you.

Siri: How you can you hate me, I'm not real.

Us: You're a bitch

Siri: Miss ____, your language.

 We spent a good hour (maybe 2) asking her the stupidest questions and seeing how far we could push her. 

And some of her answers were hilarious. 

But can we all agree, that whoever is the robot voice for Siri sounds super bitchy?

Amirite?

She sounds super judgy and if I imagined her in real life she would be that really skinny, big boobed, 'I'm too hot to trot but I have some deep seeded Daddy issues' kind of girl. 

Maybe this had a little to do with our shenanigans...

{ we like our wine brown bagged so we feel like gangstas }

But to be completely honest, we started our Siri Showdown long before the sweet taste of red wine hit our lips. Gone are the days when we actually talked shit to real people. : ) 

My New Best Friend

She is pretty

Her name is Dot, 

She is my new wine glass. 

And I love her.

That is all.

A Very Bloggy Christmas...The Reveal

First and foremost, I want to thank everyone who participated with myself and Laura for...

It was a wonderful turnout and I am so happy with all the girls we got together and who got to swap. 

But enough of the talk talky....you want more showy showy

(err...well that sounded creepy..lol)

No, you came here to see the wonderful goodness that we got from out swapping partners. : )

I was lucky enough to be paired with the wonderful Jessica from Double Everything and from the brief conversation I had with her, she seems like such a sweetie. Plus she is the mama of two adorable twin babes...seriously, go check her and her adorable little family 

I couldn't have been more lucky because Jessica dialed in one two of my favorite things....

Monograms and Wine!!!

She pretty much has the Christmas key to my heart. ♥ 

The ornament is already hanging on my tree and for those who are curious, why yes, Big Man and my last name does start with an H. The wine glass....ahhh....the wine glass! That pretty little thing has already gotten some good use. I could not contain myself any longer and had to use it this weekend while I was wrapping some presents. 

Somehow wrapping was much more enjoyable this year with my new little buddy. 

Thank you again Jessica, I loved them!! :) 

***

Now it's your turn ladies....show us your swap goodies....don't be shy  ; ) 

Link up below and please share...this is what we all been waiting for loves. 

Todays Post Brought To You By The Letter B...

December is a busy month, as in all of me and Big Man's weekends are filled throughout the holiday. 

Today begins the weekend of events and this is what is on our horizon tonight...

Oh yes....

My sister M was invited by a couple girls from work (we work together) to go to bingo tonight and not wanting to roll there by herself, she invited me to go. I, being the awesome sister I am agreed to go but really she didn't have to ask me twice. 

I've been going to bingo since I've been little with my Nan, Mom, Aunts, and Sister T (hello girls...we need to do this after the holidays!!!) and was even able to get Big Man to go when we first moved to Pennsylvania. That was a sight to be seen, click here, if you want to check that post out. 

Since we are going with coworkers and one coworker in particular is a pain in the ass, we plan to smuggle some booze into the bingo hall via ice tea containers...haha. People may consider this an old lady game and I wouldn't tell you, you're wrong, but this little lady is in it to win it (the jackpot please..) and might possibly be a little wine drunk doing it.  :) 

While the ladies are off getting their bingo on, Big Man and my BIL Dang we'll be at home with the baby and will be teaching tiny E the art of making Boilo.

What is Boilo you may ask?!?

via

In the Coal Region of Pennsylvania where I live, this alcoholic beverage is a must have and is at practically every holiday party I attend during the season. 

Boilo ( pronounced boy-low) in it's true state has oranges, pears, apples, cloves, and a bunch of other fruits and such and was originally made with moonshine. Talk about, knocking you on your ass but many people also used Everclear, grain alcohol. Due to it's high alcohol content, I'm pretty sure it is illegal in some places and I am sure they do not sell it in Pennsylvania at all. 

They're are many recipes out there and each family and person makes it differently but we enjoy the...

 Apple Pie Boilo 

Think my apple cider on steroids out there looking for a fight and whooping your apple ciders ass. 

Like I said, everyone does it differently and the via the picture above also has a different recipe but here is how we usually do ours....

Add 1 quart of apple cider (or 1 qt of apple juice with a half cup of brown sugar),
 2 cinnamon sticks
 1 teaspoon  ground cloves
 1 teaspoon ground nutmeg together
 Boil for 10 minutes.

Noted: You can use a crock pot or do it on the stove top

Remove from heat.
 After 10 minutes add a half bottle of 4 Queens Blended Whiskey
(this is not really sold much outside our area I don't think, but def. use this)
 Cover with a lid and let sit until it it cools to room temp then bottle it and refrigerate.

This is at it's best when served warm....so heat it up in the microwave before taking your shot. : )

Ahhhh....I can't wait to get this yummy goodness in my belly....the boys better not mess this up ; ) lol

***
Rest of Weekend Plans:

Christmas Village with both my sisters, my niece and nephew, and BIL...so excited!
An Italian Holiday Dinner with my Dad's side of the family....spaghetti, get in my belly. :)

So if I'm absent this weekend from the blogs, you'll know why....I'll get pictures though, don't you worry.

Have a great weekend loves. : ) 

Summa Summa Summertime...

I love hearing that song at the beginning of summer and thinking about all the fun stuff Big Man and myself are going to get into during those few short months that the weather is beautiful (albeit sometimes too 106 degrees beautiful) here in Pennsylvania. 

There was alot that I wanted to get done during this summer, such as:

- Go to the amusement parks

- Go to the beach 

- Go to NYC

- Deep clean my house

- The list goes on

And what did I get done...

NOTHING!!!

Though, I would have loved to go and do all of those things, this summer didn't allow the money nor the time to get anywhere really out of our county. This summer was spent with Big Man working shitloads of overtime and me planning the details for our end of summer wedding. Extra spending was nipped in the bud as was any adventures that would cost more than a couple dollars. 

Our summer looked more like this....

Big Man and my bachelor/bachelorette parties...

Ice cream dates...

Getting our engagement pictures done...

Wine, Wine, and more Wine!!!

Lounging in the pool...

And of course the pupper...and yes, a little more drinky drinks 

What can I say, we're seriously on a 'beer budget'.. : ) 

I had an awesome two weeks off from work this summer where I maxed and relaxed but we've been back to work for awhile and our next vacay doesn't come till Christmas. Also with the kiddos heading back to school, I officially take it as the end of summer. 

Farewell, my fabulous weather friend. 

Till we meet again next year, though I will probably be begging for you sooner when the white stuff starts falling again.  :) 

Bachelorette Debauchery

On Saturday, July 16th....friends and family gathered to participate in the last nights of freedom for this little lady....

My Bachelorette Party.....DUH!!! 

Words can not even begin to explain the amount of fun I had Saturday night. With my mom, sisters, cousins, aunts, and closest friends...we hit up the local bars to booze and get our dance on.

There's not much that I can really say about our night besides that there was lots of shots, booze, laughter and booty shaking. For the most part, I'll let the pictures do the talking and since this is the interwebs I must exclude some incriminating (not really but I'm not going to put all of my shizz out there..haha) pictures and some of those who I don't know would appreciate being blitzed on the the blogosphere.

Without further ado...

These are 3 of my best friends from high school.
We been through so much shit together it's not even funny. My girl T, on the right is one of my closest confidants and is one of the bridesmaids in my wedding. It amazes me that after almost 10 years (ugh I'm  getting old) of knowing each other and me being away for almost 5 of them...that we can all see each other and catch up like no time has passed at all. Love these girls : )

Here's a look back at our days before we were able to drink legally...

Ahh so young, skinny, and innocent...lol

Onto the next ones...

From L to R....my sister T, my neighbor/friend S, my sister M, and my cousin/miswell be my sister K

I may be biased but I have the most awesome sisters ever. It used to irritate me when I was younger when my older sis' used to get and experience everything before I did but I can not be more blessed to have these awesome ladies guide me in my ways and for always giving me a shoulder to cry on or a time to listen to me. 

My neighbor S....point. blank. period...she's the awesomesauce.

My cousin K....pretty much my sister and I have treated her like that since we were little. My Pap used to call me, her and my sister T, the KIT girls. 

S and M....(haha) enjoying their tasty drink.

I can't remember what this was called but it was freakin' delish. Now that I think of it...I should have gotten a pitcher for myself....

Or I can steal there's and enjoy the tasty goodness by myself.....I am the damn bachelorette! :)

Here's my sister and my Aunt C enjoying another BIG drink which I believe was a margarita. It was a little sour for my taste but after the drinks I had I didn't mind putting away another one.

This might show you that after a certain point...dignity has left the building...

This is wear you witness that sweet innocent blogger Little Woman of yours belting out a little ditty into a glow in the dark penis necklace. Yeah, at about that point there was no shame in my game.

Nobody else either I suppose...

All of us shaking our money makers...

Giving drunken kissy/bitch faces...

Group circling dances...

I don't even know...

Hell even my mama bust out some sweet ass dance moves....

That would be my mom on the right with the feathered 'do. 

She doesn't drink but the way she was acting that night you would think that she did. She was having a ball and truly made it such a fun night.

I also have to give many thanks to this lady...

My sister T has been a blessing throughout this whole wedding process. She has helped me with all my wedding planning and her and my mom did a fabulous job of putting together my bachelorette party. 

Little Woman Bachelorette Party

A Definite Success!!!

Twas A Goooooood Night...

Bachelorette party recap once the alcohol gets out of my system and I find the evidence of my awesome night last night.

Till then I will be laid up on my couch recovering!  : ) 

Wish Me Luck...

Tonight is my...

This should be one hell of night : ) 

Today's Blog Post Is Brought To You By The Letter W

Why you ask....?
Because it is a Wine Filled Weekend Recap that is coming to you on Wednesday : )

***

At 4:01 p.m. on Thursday afternoon, my 2 week vacation officially kicked off. 

Can I get a...

WOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO!!!

My sister and I wasted no time enjoying our 'first day' of vacation and popped open a bottle and a half of our our favorite local wine Patriot Red (ya know, in honor of the holiday weekend...haha). We sat out on the front porch looking like classy ladies while bullshitting about work and our plans for vacay. The boys were not amused by our slight buzz and insistence for them to take us for more wine. Luckily our neighbor S came through for us and me and her rode on a spare to get more vino. Two more bottles were consumed and it's safe to say that us girl's had a fun night. 

The rest of our weekend also provided beverages of the alcoholic kind....

Friday, July 1st 

On Friday, my BIL Dang's friend/Big Man's groomsmen and girlfriend came into to town for the weekend to hang out. Instead of the usual drinks on my sister's patio, we decided to head out and hit up the local golf club that offers a 'happy hour' for some drinks and dancing. 

This was the view from the deck we were drinking on.

And this is the view we had from the area where we were drinking...

This is what me and my sister lovingly named The Sea of Prep!

Holy Hollister, American Eagle, Abercrombie & Fitch, and Polo Batman!!!

This was totally not our scene. I don't know how many poofs, bump its, and slutty short dresses and outfits we saw. Girls were dressed like they were going to the club when they most certainly were not but to each their own. Next time, me and my sister agreed that were going in the most obnoxious leopard print, stiletto stunting, whorish outfits we can find. 

There was one guy there who was having an awesome time with the younger ladies though...

I know it's a dark picture but look at the guy on the right....that is what I would guesstimate to say is an 80 year old man trying to get his groove on with probably a 22 year old girl. This guy was hilarious, up there on the stage shaking it like it was 1940 again. I pray I still have energy like that when I'm his age. 

Here's some pictures of the rest of us...

Big Man's groomsmen Tush and his girlfriend A who came in from Central PA for the weekend.

Big Man with his beer, feeling nice  : ) 

My sister M and my BIL Dang

and were even able to see a little bit of this guy...

The Bernie made a short appearance for this picture but then came out in full force later that night on stage. My BIL was up there doing his thing and if you would have seen the look on the guy next to hims face, it was making us all almost pee ourselves. We was looking like "WTF is he doing, is he having a seizure?"

Def. a fun night! : ) 

Saturday, July 2nd

We had a picnic at my BIL's sisters house. There no pictures from that day but I can tell you there was lots of Flip Cup, 3 Man, swimming, and a helluva lot of drinking. I bypassed my typical beer to sip on some sangria that night, seriously I fall more in love with that stuff each time. We also unsuccessfully tried to karaoke and but very successfully watched a mother and child whoop as at Just Dance to Proud Mary by Tina Turner. 

Sunday, July 3rd

HAPPY 27th BIRTHDAY TO MY SISTER M!!!

After wishing my sister a Happy Birthday, Big Man and myself headed to the afternoon showing of Transformers: Dark Of The Moon 3D and let me tell you, don't waste your time going to see it in 3D. The movie was good with the usual transformer smashing but the 3D was wack. I thought there were going to be things jumping out at me and making me ooh and ahh but it barely was off the screen. 3D = FAIL!

These last couple weekends have been busy and I don't see them slowing down anytime soon. Hope everyone had a fantastic and safe weekend : ) 

Randomness Never Hurt Anyone..

I have had these pictures on my phone forever and had no idea what to do with them for the longest time. So instead of just keeping them to myself, I thought I'd give you a peek and the randomness I like to catch on my phone. So without futher ado...

An Android Photo Dump...

Sangria

Yummy yummy in my tummy. A couple of weeks ago my sister had a little shindig at her house and made a big jar of this stuff. I've never had it before and have just started getting into wine, but wowsa...me and sangria are new bff's!

Contemplative

This was the day of our engagement shoot before Laura had arrived. I was chilling on a park bench and Big Man was just standing there staring off into space. Though you can't see his face, I really like this shot I got of him. 

Killa Kitten

Do you have a 5 Below where you live? It's kinda like Dollar Tree except everything is priced under $5. Anywho, many many months ago I was at ours and after looking and some of the other crazy and corny stuff they had, this magnet caught my eye. I'm always afraid that cats will try to smother me in my sleep even though I don't own any, but this magnet now proves it.

Chocolate Martini

I know this my second booze related picture but I must let all you chocoholic alcoholics know that this drink right here is the truth. I have never had a martini before, let alone a chocolate one but this tasted like chocolate milk, it was freakin delicious. I could get myself into trouble with these. 

Yours Truly

This was the day of the engagement shoot as well and I thought hell, why not pose for a picture in my outfit. I thought everything was on point, except for the crazy eyes I was giving off. Hmmm..I think I'm going to have to work on this. :) 

What's lurking on your phone....please share..lol :) 

Kids At Heart...

Sometimes booze....

(that's my father with the Rehab is for quitters shirt on...lol)

Can lead to bad decisions like this...

Since the block party was going to rained out on Saturday, we headed up to my sister M's house for a little get together. Things were going fine and dandy and we all were just sitting out on her deck bullshitting and drinking when M's fiancee Dang had the bright idea to bring out the slip and slide. It was probably the most dumbest but funniest decisions of my life to partake in this.

Besides the fact that we were all grown ass adults who decided to get drunk and slip-n-slide, some of us also dressed up...

Dang's friend as Olive Oil from Popeye....full wig, dress, and all!

Myself as a M*arriot Motocrosser

I wore my sisters old work uniform and probably made one of my better decisions of the night and wore her quad helmet. Too bad for me though, on my next run on the slip-n-slide we added more plastic and dish detergent to the slide and I like a dumbass took the helmet off and ended up sliding and cracking the back of my head off the ground...I might have gotten a mild concussion.

And last but certainly not least...

My FBIL Dang as a Gorilla!!

This was after he slid down and was messing with his dog...lol : )

My two sisters also went down but my Dad, Big Man, and Smit graciously bitched stepped out of the festivities and video-taped and took pictures of us making fools of ourselves.

We might look like idiots but atleast it was fun!! : )