Me and Big Man got into somewhat of a tiff this weekend
It all started when we were showering and our towels were confused and Big Man went into this big debate. I don't know but I can assume things were simmering under the surface but our little heated debate went from towels, to his sloppy closet, to my sloppy car, to shared responsibility, to my need to constantly be reassured.
Everything besides the latter, I brushed off and had a creative comeback to. But he hit a nerve when he said I am constantly seeking reassurance from him when I do stuff. I suppose that he is right though since I became so upset (I blame the tears on AF) but he was hard to hear none the less.
I don't know when I became this person, even I myself have noticed times when I felt uncomfortable making decisions and would rely on his yay or nay approval. Now this is not to say that I am not a free thinking woman and cannot make decisions for myself but I think I have become so wrapped up in the 'we' and have let the 'i' fall to the wayside.
I want to go back to the more independent woman I was before where I was strong in my decisions and convictions and wasn't always relying on outside input.
Another goal on my 101 in 1001 was to become a better girlfriend/fiancee/wife (#80) and I think working on myself and improving on this 'flaw' will help me become more self-assured person and a better wife in the future.
15 comments:
I had the exact same issue not too long ago. Any time that we got into a bicker, it always ended up that way, and I was having major issues with constantly trying to please her instead of worrying about what makes me happy. It's great to want your significant other to be happy, but we forget that a healthy relationship is not one where one person is a slave to the other, whether it's abuse, or you do it to yourself. Once I realized that I was in fact doing it to myself, I did a major overhaul of my soul. Things are back to the way they used to be and it's amazing.
I completely understand. It's easy to lose yourself in a relationship, and at the end of the day, that's the last thing your man would want. I've been there. Take the time for yourself! You'll be just fine :)
What is up with you, me, and Brittany having a hard time on the same weekend? We should have gotten together...maybe it's a sign that we need to plan something soon. I haven't even posted about mine yet, but it's good to know I'm not alone. Feel better, girl.
Oh my god :) We have this little tiff ALL the time. So before I got together with Pat I was this total independent diva... and I totally just did whatever I wanted.
It stemmed from a previous relationship where I just felt like I needed to not have my own life and try and live his. Well, it ended up that he cheated on me for the entire 8 months and I became bulemic. SICK! What type of person was I...
Anyways I broke up with his sorry ass... started doing my own thing... and promised myself I would never get so lost again. Well lately P has been making digs that I have no friends- Not true! My friends just all live in collegetown and it's 2 hours away... so I never see them, but it doesn't bother me because we pick right back up where we left off YET he still makes this digs. So this weekend I had my very best girlfriend come to town and we had a blast. I have since promised myself again that I need to have girl time atleast once a month! :)
Woah... sorry for the long post... just wanted to say your not alone!
I feel the same way sometimes, I find myself needing Josh's input on a decision that is entirely mine.
And we had a fight the other day about leaving the dresser drawer open that turned in to much more, so you aren't alone!
i can totally relate to you on this!! i actually just sent that little comic to my fiance....i know he can relate to me being this way as well.
we have little tiffs about small stuff as well and sometimes they escalate into much large tiffs ;) i think every relationship can relate in some way.
have a good day hun!
Awe. We all do this from time to time. My suggestion is to get out and do something just by yourself. For me it's my kickboxing class. Even though you will still want his opinion on some things you'll feel more easy about making some decisions on your own. Love ya!! XOXO
Oh man, have I had those fights with Patrick! It starts out with one thing, and before you know it, bam! You're calling each other out on months worth of stored up crap!
Sorry, my friend:(
But just remember: You are a wonderful, hot, independent woman who happens to be engaged to a great guy! You can do anything! I believe in you!
And I totally agree with Gina. What is up with us all? We should have gotten together.
The smallest things always turn into these big ol fights! I think your goal is a great one and something I need to work on sometimes as well!
i feel ya i 'm going thru the same thing and i came to realize it was his fault lol mine started when i was preggo and the biggest issue we fight about is where or what to eat. when i was preggo i always chose olive garden needless to say the hubs grew tired and sick of it. When he voiced how he felt i felt i couldnt choose n e thing without him feeling a certain way and not wanting to hurt my feelings... the problem has not been solved ... goodluck i hope #80gets scratched off ur list
LMAO about that cartoon!
This towel confusion makes me glad that my husband and I don't share a bathroom! Once when I lived at home, my Dad used my washcloth that I wash my face with to wash his armpits! And then I used it because he didn't tell me! UCK!
Ouch, it's tough when the small things set off a fight from bigger issues. I hate it when that happens. I know you guys will work it out.
To echo Gina..... man, we're all going through it, right now.
You are such a great, strong woman. Don't ever forget that.
Feel free to give me a call if you need to talk!
Ugh. We have this problem more often than I would like to admit and I think it's awesome that you posted this and were so open about your flaws. That is one thing I have a hard time being honest about on my blog- MY flaws and how they can rule my life.
I hear ya. Pre-BF I was super independent & didn't need any help 'finding my way.' But now? Now I'm a wreck. I had a similar altercation with BF this weekend. & I kept saying "But you are mad at me aren't you? Frustrated? Upset?" LOL
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