Lately I've been filling my blog with a lot of fluff posts (don't act like you haven't noticed all the pictures) and though they are fun and light hearted, it's not truly how I've been feeling lately.
I try to be upbeat and positive for the most part but I've been feeling stressed and overwhelmed lately and I just need to get shit off my chest before I explode. I understand some people have it ALOT worse and some of these things people might not think are about as bad as they seem but these are the things bothering me right now, so I won't blame you if you stop reading now....this might become long and rambling.
I think most of these feelings started when school started. I suddenly started to feel like claustrophobic and that's when I started my decluttering/organizing my life and shit. So since I really don't think I can write coherently, let's break it down in to categories...
School
I was excited to start school at first cause I'm getting closer to getting my Associates but then after the College Algebra drama and being overwhelmed with all the reading for my classes, I feel like I'm falling behind. I know I can rectify this by prioritizing more but it's still stressing me out. I shouldn't be worrying about my peers but I feel like so far behind everybody with starting my life. Seems like everyone my age is getting there master's and stuff like that.
My House
Remember that thing about a clear house, a clear mind...well I got my house all spic and spanned and looking good so I could devote my time to my studies..(I'm anal about that shit..if crap is all cluttered around and shit is dirty, I feel gross and closed in and I can't concentrate till it's clean)...well about 24 hours after it was done, it was messed up again. It might just be me because I have a certain way of thinking and doing things, but if I do the dishes and clean the house, shouldn't someone at least empty the dishwasher or try to keep it somewhat decent? I woke up this morning to a half empty dishwasher, but guess where the dishes are..sitting in the sink. Now wouldn't it be easier to just unload it and just load the dirty ones as you go? Please tell me I'm not crazy.
Money
I know I'm pretty lucky because I still have a job but living paycheck to paycheck is giving me anxiety to the millionth degree. Every week when I get a pay check it goes in one hand and out the other. If it's not bills, it's something with my car, if it's not my car it's something with the house...etc. How I my suppose to pay off my debt or save to move if i have no money left over?
The Move
This is one of my biggest stressors. Though I am super excited to move (seriously I can't wait to start my new life up north, going home!) I can't help but think of all the stuff I need to do and how all these expenses are going to add up quick. I'm stressing about the money it's going to cost for the actual move up their, how staying with my parents is going to be, finding a job, still being able to make my car payments, saving money to buy a house, getting my degree in education,..etc. I'm so much of a planner, that not knowing what is going to happen is driving me insane.
Health & Body
I FEEL KNOW I'M FAT! Lately, I've been just getting down on my looks and it's really shaking my self confidence with how I look lately. Going through my old photos might not have been the greatest idea since now I've been focusing on who I was to what I become now. Big Man still thinks I'm sexy but I feel like I'm a fatty mcfatass. I'm about 40-50 lbs. overweight and I can really feel it. Me and Big Man went to Blizzard Beach on Wednesday and climbing the stairs to the slides fucking killed me. I thought I was gonna die by the time that I got to the top. Smoking probably isn't helping either...I'm such a chicken shit when it comes to that. I feel like I can do but then I just give into my self and end up going to buy a pack. Ugh. Smoking is fucking up my body and money matters. :(
And so you know I'm not just going to cry and be a little whiny baby about this, I've already started thinking of things to improve all this crap that is keeping me down, I can be proactive, I promise:
School: Since both of my classes follow pretty strictly to their syllabus, I want to find a good schedule of studying, completing homework and tests, and staying on top of things that we'll allow me to allot my time efficiently.
My House: Talk to FMIL and Big Man about ways that we can help each other around the house
Money: Re-do my financial fix-up budget so I can get back on track with my bills, start a savings account for the move and for my debt bills so I can start putting money in little by little that will hopefully add up, stop smoking to save some money, start learn how to cook more.
The Move: Research more, and stop stressing. Whatever happens is gonna happen.
Health & Body: Most importantly is to stop smoking..I feel like if I stop that, that it will help me workout better and get in shape. I also want to start eating better, take Mia for more walks, start jogging again with Big Man, and really commit to the Shred.
If any of you ladies or gents have ANY tips for me whether it be with weight loss, stopping smoking, money matter, getting into the education field, domestic skills, moving, etc.. I would GREATLY appreciate it.
For all you ladies that made it this far, bless you heart!
18 comments:
I love your approach to this! I don't really mind whining as long as it's followed up by a resolution, which is exactly what you did! Sometimes it just feels nice to let it all out free, then you can pick it all up and move on. Hope you're able to stick to your plan! :)
I know we've ALL been stressed or overwhelmed with all the life categories you described, so please don't feel bad for venting! If you can't do it on your own blog, where else could you do it?!
Honestly writing everything out like you did and organizing what's bothering you and what you want/need to fix is one of the most important things. You sound you like you don't even need any tips from us - you already know exactly what needs to happen! :)
Girl, I know you can do it. ALL of it. And don't stop letting us know what pisses you off or makes you anxious or stresses you out. That's REAL life and that's why we enjoy coming back here to read what you've got to say!
phew.
definitely does sound stressful but it's good to hear that you are thinking things out.
hugs ♥♥
I hate that you are feeling stressed...I know it stinks! I am glad that you have plans and how you might fix it! Everyone gets stressed out and hits rock bottom. I hope things start looking up for you soon :) I'll be thinking about you!
I will ALWAYS be here for you so if you need anything (except money..don't have any to give) I will be there for you. Don't worry sometimes it's ok to get down just remember you are a wonderful person who I love dearling and things will get better. I love you girl!
I totally feel ya about the money thing. It doesn't matter how much you work sometimes you feel like you just can't get caught up.
It seems like you have your head on straight and you're will to stay positive and work hard to get through it. Keep your head up high!
I feel your pain! I am going through a ton of stress at the moment as well. It really sucks sometimes, but know that it will get better. It is awesome that you have set out a plan. That is always the first step.
As far as your financial stuff, you should look into getting one of the Financial Peace University books. I haven't taken the class, but the book is amazingly informative.
Good luck girl!
Join me in one of my long vacations and trips here and there and you will definitely lose some weight. Everytime I go somewhere on vacation its a workout in itself and i come back home weighing much less.
this was a great post.
sometimes something like this is greatly needed and can be so helpful!
i do hope things work out for the best for you!
good luck with everything.
sometimes, you just have to stop worrying and give over all your worries and give control to God. because most of the time, I have not clue where my life is going or how I'm going to manage all the crazy things in my life!
i don't mean to preach or anything, but it's something that helps me. ;)
god bless you!
xoxo,
LenkaLovee
I'm moving to a cash only (no debit card, credit, nothing) system and I plan out my budget and all my bills as far in advance as I can.
hun it sounds like you have a plan for everything that is causing you stress in your life. i hope that you can get everything straightened out and feel less stress. i think everything will fall into place for you!
i was feeling super stressed just like you are a year ago and i just realized i need to live each day one at a time. it has relieved so much stress. the whole money thing is always the biggest stress in our life but we know we are doing everything in our power to get out of debt and save money. i had to realize that things would not change over a night and i feel like we have come a long way in a year.
you are a strong lady and you have a strong man by your side. i know everything will end up perfectly :) you already have a blessed life! :)
sorry for rambling! ;) i hope you have a great weekend sweet girl!!
You are not behind. So many people finish up school and still don't know what they really want to do.
I'm feeling pretty crummy about myself this week, too. You have my e-mail if you want to whine to another Whiny McFatAss. :)
There's no need to feel bad about having a rant/moan on your blog, it's your own space for you to do what you want and anyway, like a friend of mine once said to me when I apologised for moaning about my life when I felt she had it far worse, everyone's problems are relative.
It sounds like you're already resolving them all in your head anyway. I wish I could force that sort of positive thinking into my own life. :)
Somtimes I feel like all my blog is is one big whine-fest, so you're totally fine :)
Tips for quitting smoking: I did it cold turkey - this doesn't work for everyone. If you have health insurance, I highly suggest using Chantix to help you quit - my husband has been able to quit using it no problem!
Tips for weight loss: Start tracking your calories online - there are so many tools available, just google "calorie counter" and you'll find one. Read up on general nutrition, and compare what you're eating to those guidelines, and then make the necessary changes. And as for exercise, going on a 1/2 hour walk every day is a great way to start!
Good luck - you can do this :)
Oh, Little Woman...I wish I could give you a hug. I am glad that you vented...you know I am a big believer in using your blog for therapeutic purposes. Hang in there. When it rains, it pours. It's just a rough time right now.
i practically peed my pants with your maury re-enactment. it was almost like you were there! hahaha thanks for that! that was awesome.
Oh girl... I have a post in my drafts about QUITTING SMOKING. I feel the EXACT same way. I have gained weight, I need to exercise but I get outta breath climbing one effing flight of stairs, much less actually exercise, puh-lease! Like you said, I know I need to quit but I just keep going to buy a new pack. I can't get healthy unless I quit... blah. It's a horrible cycle, isn't it?
I HATE when i spend a lot of time cleaning the house and it is almost instantly messed up again!
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